


A Sucker's Bet

by Perpetual Motion (perpetfic)



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: M/M, impromptu fluff fest, mentioned Jasper/Maria
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-12
Updated: 2013-11-12
Packaged: 2018-01-01 06:18:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,221
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1041352
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/perpetfic/pseuds/Perpetual%20Motion
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Coulson flirts over comms because Jasper likes to lose money.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Sucker's Bet

**Author's Note:**

> For an anon on tumblr who requested exactly what the summary says for the Clint/Coulson impromptu fluff fest. I hope you enjoy! Beta by the_wordbutler.

“Fifty bucks,” Jasper says.

“No,” Phil replies.

“Sixty. Seventy. Pick a number. I will pay up if I lose.”

Phil looks up from calibrating the sound equipment. “Are you really that bored?”

Jasper looks pointedly at his arms, which are both in casts. He’s in week three of recovering from double broken wrists, and ‘getting antsy’ doesn’t even begin to cover it. “I can’t even jerk off, Phil. And, more romantically, I can’t be the big spoon with my wife, and more fundamental to life, I can’t even take a piss without help, so fucking let me lose money to you, all right?”

Phil finishes calibrating the sound levels before he answers. “You don’t seriously expect me to believe Maria ever lets you be the big spoon.”

“Fuck you and take my money. Hundred bucks says you can break Clint via flirting.”

Phil considers the bet. Clint won’t break character, of that Phil is certain. And they’ve only been dating a few months. Is it okay, at this point, to initiate Clint into the ridiculous antics that are Jasper when he’s bored? Not that Clint hasn’t experienced them in different ways before, but does making a bet with Jasper and getting flirty on comms constitute a breach of trust?

“Holy shit, would you stop thinking about it and just go for it?”

Funnily enough, that was Jasper’s exact recommendation for whether or not Phil should ask Clint out. Phil takes it as a good sign. “A hundred bucks,” he says. “I promise to use some of my ill-gotten gains to buy you a Snuggie.”

“I want the one with dinosaurs on it.”

Phil’s not sure if he’s joking (knowing Jasper, probably not), and the comms have gone live, so he just gives a noncommittal wave and waits for Clint to make contact.

“Good morning, starshine; the Earth says hello,” Clint sings softly.

“Copy that Earth,” Phil says. “Your code names are ridiculous.”

Clint doesn’t reply. They’ve got him on visuals as well as the earpiece, and Phil can see him in line at the coffee shop. He’s the eyes and ears for a file drop coming from a source only Jasper has met, which is why Jasper is currently next to Phil ready to eyeball the guy rather than at home on his couch contemplating if he’s going to murder the voice reader on his Kindle for mispronouncing words again.

“Nothing good today,” Clint mutters as he looks at the menu. He hasn’t spotted anything suspicious in or around the store, then.

“I see something pretty good,” Phil says, and it’s not untrue. One of the cameras they’ve piggy-backed on is showing Clint from the back, and he’s wearing broken in jogging pants and a worn-out T-shirt. “Got an excellent angle on the back side of you.”

Jasper snickers. Clint doesn’t give away anything, just keeps staring at the menu like he can’t decide what he’s going to get.

“Large coffee,” Clint orders when he steps up to the counter. “And one of those vegan cookies, please.”

In the far corner of the room, a man shifts in his seat and very cautiously pulls down the hood on his sweatshirt. “That’s him,” Jasper says as he taps the screen. “Far left corner, next to whatever that plant is.”

“Nice ficus,” Clint says to the barista to confirm he’s heard. “Is it real?”

The barista shrugs and hands Clint his coffee and cookie. The man in the corner is clearly eying Clint. Phil reads his body language as curious and a bit wary and asks Jasper, “Why a vegan cookie?”

“It is hilarious to watch anyone eat a vegan cookie,” Jasper says. “No one ever likes a vegan cookie.”

“Plenty of people like vegan cookies,” Phil says. The guy next to the ficus is still looking wary. Phil clicks the comm open. “Barton, smile to put him at ease,” he says. “You’ve got a great smile for that.”

Clint still doesn’t break. Jasper chuckles, and Phil rolls his eyes at the fact that he’s gotten suckered into playing along.

“Hey,” Clint says to the contact as he sits at the table next to him. “Can I grab the sports section off you?” It’s the second code phrase--the first having been the aforementioned vegan cookie--to let the contact know that Clint’s friendly.

“Sure,” the guy says. “Penguins took it last night.”

“Last ten minutes of that game were intense,” Clint says as he takes the section the guy holds out. Phil feels himself grin. They’d actually watched the game last night to make sure they used the appropriate code phrase for accepting the files hidden in the sports section.

“Don’t really remember you watching the game too closely to catch how intense it was,” Phil says. “I’m pretty sure I had you distracted.”

Clint takes a long drink of his coffee and doesn’t respond. He taps his foot against the floor in a changing rhythmic pattern.

“Tell. Jasper. He. Is. A. Douche.” Jasper translates from Morse code. He pulls a face. “Goddamnit, I can’t even count it as breaking character because it’s informative.”

“You knew it was a sucker’s bet,” Phil says.

“I don’t care,” Jasper replies. “I still get to watch him eat the cookie.”

They both watch the screens in silence until their informant gets up and leaves. Their agent outside confirms he’s got the guy in sight and will trail him until he’s home safely. As they turn the corner--the agent trailing fifty yards behind--Phil looks back at the cameras in the coffee shop. Clint’s still there, sipping his coffee and flipping through the sports section. He’s got the cookie packaging open, and he’s chewing on a bite.

“All clear,” Phil says.

Clint’s face goes from blandly interested in the sports section to slightly disgusted. “This cookie is terrible,” he says in an undertone.

Jasper laughs, and Phil shakes his head. “I’ll get you a real one from that bakery next to my place tomorrow morning.”

“You already won; you can stop,” Jasper says.

“Op’s over,” Phil replies. “This is just for fun.”

“Oh, and thanks for using me as a pawn in whatever bullshit game you two were up to,” Clint mutters as he folds the sports section, puts it on the table, and walks out the door of the coffee shop. He slides his left hand into his pocket, then out again. Whatever information the guy was delivering, Clint’s clearly got it now.

“I made a hundred bucks,” Phil says. “Take you out to dinner tonight?”

Clint grins as he walks down the street in the opposite direction of their guy and turns the corner. A minute later, he’s climbing into the driver’s seat of the van where Jasper and Phil have been running the show. “I want tacos,” he says in greeting. “And if Jasper is nice, I will allow his presence when we invite Maria to join us.”

“Blow me,” Jasper replies.

“Close enough,” Clint says. “Hold onto something, Jasper--oh, wait.”

“Asshole,” Jasper says, but there’s no heat in it.

Phil steps around Jasper to sit in the passenger side of the van as Clint pulls away from the curb. “Good job,” he says to Clint.

“Thanks,” Clint replies, and he gives Phil a smile as they head back to base.


End file.
